Episode 140: Sarah Beckman

Sarah Beckman joins me today. She is a mother to 3 kids between the ages of 17-21. If you are a mother entering in the high school phase, she would be a great person to friend. Our conversation is focused around her book which is called Alongside: A Practical Guide For Loving Your Neighbor in Their Time of Trial. We have a practical conversation around how to come alongside someone you knew who is walking through a difficult season or circumstance. We talk about what loving your neighbor really looks like, excuses we often give to not step in and what we can do in light of each excuse.

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I can’t tell you how timely my conversation was with her. We recorded in mid-July and less than 2 weeks later, I had the opportunity to put into practice what we talked about. This month alone, I have experienced the death of several people. And this conversation helped prepare me for how to handle that.


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Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • Relationship tiers:

    1 - family

    2 - friends

    3 - people we see on the soccer field/acquaintences

    4 - an association (like my sister’s friend)

  • “Busy is not an emotion.” (Sarah Bragg) To combat busy, do something you are already doing and then do that to help someone. Make a specific offer, only offer what you can do.

  • "When we cultivate a mentality of ‘I can’ then there’s a lot of things we can do to love someone in their trial.” (Sarah Beckman)

  • “I don’t know what to say” To discern between helpful and unhelpful things to say:

    • Acknowledge / Affirm / Express (your empathy, that you will be there)

    • when you’re not sure what words to say maybe say no words

Discussion Questions

  • What is your response when you see someone in need? (Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you go into fix it mode? etc)
  • What excuses do you hear or give to not step in when someone is in need or is hurting?
  • Talk about a time when you were hurting or going through a hard season or a new season and how someone came alongside you. What was helpful and/or what wasn't helpful?
  • What tends to keep you from stepping into the mess of others?
  • Do you feel compelled to step into every mess or do you struggle more with stepping into any mess?
  • Take some talk about talk about the relationship tiers (family, friends, acquaintances and associations). Think through people you know who are going through something difficult. Place them into those categories. Based on what Sarah talked about, what could you do to help those people?
  • What is something you can offer someone in need that is in your gifting or skill set?

What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

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