My friend Clay Scroggins joins me around the table. He married to Jenny (who is a faithful Surviving Sarah listener) and they have 5 kids. Clay is the lead pastor for North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. Many of you may have heard of that church because Andy Stanley started it.
He wrote a book last year called How To Lead When You’re Not In Charge. And let’s be honest, so many of us are leading somewhere—in our home, in our work, in our church, in our schools. Each one of us has the ability to leverage influence yet many of us are stuck waiting to be given the authority to lead rather than tapping into the influence that we have. So we talk about the difference between authority and influence, the challenges that keep us from tapping into our influence, how to survive working for someone you don’t respect, what to do when you crave more influence, and how understanding our identity is crucial in cultivating influence.
- Clay's book: How To Lead When You're Not In Charge
- Brene Brown's Rising Strong
- Thanks For The Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen
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Clay's Survival Kit:
- "Forcing myself to remain in God’s love... @@The best version of me is the version whose most convinced that God loves me@@."
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Takeaways From Our Conversation:
- How many times do I just want to leverage my authority rather than influence that kid? People don’t respond well to being forced to do something. The older kids are the more important it is to be the kind of person they want to listen to. Even the best leaders lead like they’re not in charge. They lead through influence not through position.
Challenges that keep us from tapping into our influence: 1. believing the myth that you have to have authority in order to lead. What excuse are you using to not lead? 2. Not understanding our identity.
In order to lead well, then you have to understand who you are. @@“I think the best identity is letting what God says about me be what’s most true about me.”@@
Great leaders are not immune to failure. They have the endurance to get back up again. @@Failure doesn’t have to be defining of your identity.@@
Resist the temptation to define your identity by your child’s behavior. "If you can appropriately define your identity then you can risk yourself to cultivate influence."
What do you do to help lead yourself? To do this, you need to know exactly where you are. You can’t get to where you want to be until you know where you are. Ask someone who is around you for feedback.
what is inspiring about working with me?
what is frustrating about working with me?
what are my blindspots?
what is it like to be on the other side of me?
How can you be okay with the influence that you have rather than always chasing for greater influence? Who is the influence for? What’s the point of the influence? Why do you want influence? @@"Cultivating influence for the help of other people is hardwired into our DNA."@@
How do you challenge someone in authority over you who you don’t respect? Look for what is greater at work in your work. My goal is to cultivate influence with that person. What can you do to make that person look good? Believe the best about that person. God is not surprised by bad bosses. This opportunity is not wasted - keep a list of what you are learning from a boss (good or bad). Choose positivity.
Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.
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